I was having a conversation today with Sejual Shah (no relation!) who is practitioner and teacher of an Emotional Intelligence technique known as the Emotional Freedom Technique. During our discussion, the question was asked why so many obviously intelligent people struggle with Emotional Intelligence (EQ).

The answer lies in the recognition that we have different intelligence systems within our body.

The obvious one, which most education systems in the world are based on, is Mind Intelligence. The most popular measure of this is the Intelligence Quotient (IQ).
Some argue that Emotional Intelligence is better than Mind Intelligence, or vice versa. I do not agree. They both have a place in creating successful and fulfilling lives. They are both needed in equal measure, but our education systems are geared to teaching us only one of them and so handicap most people’s ability to succeed.

Here are some of the key characteristics of Mind Intelligence:
• The seat of the Mind is the brain (which is, obviously, in the head)
• It is logical
• It is linear – A leads to B, which in turn leads to C, and so on
• It is the seat of understanding and reasoning

Emotional Intelligence, on the other hand, has the following characteristics:
• It is located in the body, and more specifically, in the heart
• It is NOT follow logic
• It is NON-linear – A could lead to D, which could lead to X, and so on
• It is the seat of instinct (sometimes known as gut instinct)

As you can see, the two intelligences are very different, and some would say polar opposites. Here is the real crux – much of the Emotional Intelligence being taught is via characteristics which are more to do with Mind Intelligence. There are hundreds (if not thousands) of books already written on Emotional Intelligence.
Books follow a linear and logical path.

You cannot use the Mind Intelligence to understand another intelligence system, especially one which is beyond logic and understanding.
Emotional Intelligence can only really be learned from experience, not from understanding. Whilst reading and understanding may point you in the right direction, it will not increase your EQ / Emotional Intelligence. The only way you will increase your EQ is through experiencing emotions – something we in the western world especially are discouraged from doing from an early age.

If you really want to experience and increase your EQ / Emotional Intelligence, then find a practice that is experiential. There are a number of them. And experience requires you to go to a course / training to gain the experience.

Have you ever tried to taste a strawberry from a book? You can’t. You need to experience a strawberry to ‘get’ what it tastes like. No amount of reading and theory will give you the taste of a strawberry – but experience one, and you immediately know what a strawberry tastes like – you don’t need a theory or explanation – you KNOW it.

You cannot understand Emotional Intelligence, you can only KNOW it.

Go on then, make success easier today!