Just like everyone else, I’ve had my fair share of setbacks in life. And like most people, at times it feels like it I have had more than my fair share. There have been in setbacks in all areas of my life: from business failure to relationship breakdowns to health. Some have been small, others have been spectacular!

So how do you deal with setbacks? It all depends how you’re wired up internally:  on your beliefs and values in life and subsequently the meaning you give to the setback.
In January 2007, I had a heart attack. I would say that as setbacks go, it was of the spectacular kind!

I went into hospital one day, aged 42, and came out again a week later with a carrier bagful of drugs.  Mentally, I had aged considerably. I was the youngest man on the ward I was in, by decades in most cases. I had a belief that heart attacks only happened to ‘old’ people, and so I too felt old now. That was setback number one.

I also had a belief, from my time managing a retail pharmacy, that drugs only treated the symptoms and not the cause of an illness. Having seen hundreds of people come in for repeat prescriptions and never really getting better, I could see that drugs were not the answer. And yet, here I was with a bagful of them that I was told I would need for the rest of my life!

That was setback number 2.

Having heeded all the warnings from the doctors, I also developed a belief that I would have to be really careful how much I did physically from now on. That was compounded by the rehabilitation program I underwent on once I was home again. It involved sessions in a gym, where I was allowed to do very little in case I stressed the heart too much. Again, I was the youngest person on the program by many years. Whilst this was meant to protect me, I knew I was capable of more and grew very frustrated with the program. Unknowingly, I had developed a belief that I had to settle for a less active life.

Setback number three.

There were more, but the point I’m making is that the beliefs I had now stopped me from living life to the full. And I could have stayed this way for the rest of my life – which would probably have been a short one with these beliefs.

Fortunately, I did not accept this reality that I found myself in. I had some great people in my life that saw me in a different light and encouraged me to change. With their help, I discovered these beliefs that I had developed and decided to change them. And whatever you believe, you can change those beliefs for more empowering ones. I learned how to do that from some great teachers and now help others to do that, in whatever area of their life they feel stuck in, so that they can become successful in those areas.

How have I changed? Today, I feel younger than my physical age; I no longer take any medication and have stopped being affected by all of its side effects, and I am the most active I have ever been in my life. This has a huge impact on my quality of life.

Which of your setbacks is holding you back?

What have you come to believe about yourself in that process?

And what are you willing to do to change the beliefs?

The way you answer the last question will decide whether the setback is an opportunity for failure or a launch pad for great success. You don’t need to know how you will go about it in order to make the decision to do something. The how will come about after you have decided firmly what you are willing to do.