Transform from a good to great leader – with emotional intelligence coaching

Organised, confident, enthusiastic, committed, consistent!

These are some of the traits needed to be a good leader.

But why be a good leader when you can be a great one?

There’s only one thing that separates the good from the great – and that’s emotional intelligence.

Managing your emotions

At its most basic, emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, understand and regulate your emotions and those of the people around you.

In practical terms, this means being aware that emotions drive your behaviour and impact others (positively and negatively) and learning how to manage those emotions, especially when you’re under pressure.

This is particularly relevant to business leaders, because as a leader, you set the emotional tone in your organisation.

The emotional state you demonstrate (consciously, or unconsciously) primes the behaviour of your employees.

Let me demonstrate.

Do you think you are good at hiding your feelings/emotions?

Have you ever asked someone how they feel and they answer they are fine; and yet, you have the distinct feeling they are not fine. How do you know that?

We know that animals can sense our feelings and are more likely to attack when we are in “Fear” than when we are feeling strong and in control. What people generally don’t know is humans are also good at sensing other’s feelings – they have just forgotten how to do it most of the time when it really matters.

So, if you can sense when others are lying about how they are, others can also sense when you are putting on an act! This has important repercussions for businesses.

If you’re positive and motivating, and I mean really that and not just pretending, your staff will be also begin to be motivated.

If you’re negative, it will bring your staff down and affect their productivity and level of engagement.

If you are a good leader, but think you are hiding your emotions / feelings, think again. Great leaders don’t need to hide their feelings – they can change how they feel. They know how emotions shape their behaviour and know how to change their emotions to elicit the best from those they lead.

Emotional intelligence coaching

The good news is you can improve the emotional climate of your organisation with the help of an emotional intelligence coach.

Having worked with many professional entrepreneurs, business owners and public organisations, I‘m very well placed to help you master your emotional intelligence and become the best leader you can be.

How?

There are five basic components of emotional intelligence:

  • Self-awareness: Knowing what you are feeling at any given moment and understanding the impact it has on others
  • Self-regulation: Controlling or redirecting your emotions; anticipating consequences before acting on impulse
  • Motivation: Utilising emotional factors to achieve goals and persevere in the face of obstacles
  • Empathy: Being sensitive to the emotions and needs of others
  • Social skills: Managing relationships, inspiring others and eliciting the response you want from them.

The more that you as a leader, control these components, the more successful you will be in business.

Through emotional intelligence coaching, I can help you understand these elements and give you the tools to develop them – resulting in a happier workforce and a healthier bottom line.

Contact me

I’m convinced that mastering your emotional intelligence will be the most valuable personal and professional training you’ll ever undertake.

To start your journey, email me at sanjay@sanjayshah.tv or call me on 0121 270 6060

Are you too busy working for a living and missing out on living?

I saw this article in a national newspaper about a highly successful executive, in charge of billions of Pounds of other people’s money, who just quit his job. Despite speculation as to not getting on with the company’s founder, the real reason was much more personal. Here is what he said:

“About a year ago, I asked my daughter several times to do something — brush her teeth, I think it was — with no success. I reminded her that it was not so long ago that she would have immediately responded, and I wouldn’t have had to ask her multiple times; she would have known from my tone of voice that I was serious.

“She asked me to wait a minute, went to her room and came back with a piece of paper. It was a list that she had compiled of her important events and activities that I had missed due to work commitments. Talk about a wake-up call.

“The list contained 22 items, from her first day at school and first soccer match of the season to a parent-teacher meeting and a Halloween parade. And the school year wasn’t yet over. I felt awful and got defensive: I had a good excuse for each missed event! Travel, important meetings, an urgent phone call, sudden to-do.

“But it dawned on me that I was missing an infinitely more important point. As much as I could rationalize it — as I had rationalized it — my work-life balance had gotten way out of whack, and the imbalance was hurting my very special relationship with my daughter. I was not making nearly enough time for her.”

How are you missing out on life?

What important events have you missed out on and continue to do so? It could be with your partner, your children, your parents or siblings – or just something you’ve always wanted to do but put work first?

I have learned the hard way I can always earn more money BUT I can’t buy more time or replace missed special moments.

In my coaching, I work with many executives who are living an unbalanced life and no amount of success was giving them the happiness they sought. Until they put living life before earning money or success. The paradox is they become even more successful when they put life first!

Where are you selling yourself short? Isn’t it time to strike the balance and have a life as well as having money and success?

Here’s how you can turn things round in just 3 days. The Emotional Mastery Retreat is designed for busy people, just like you. In just three days over a long weekend, you can learn how to be more, do less and achieve more.  This is what successful people are hiring me for in my coaching practice.

  • Are you ready to do less and achieve more?
  • Do you deserve more than you have of life?

If the answer to this is ‘yes’, then join me for three days of re-programming, designed to  live the life you keep dreaming of but are too busy working to live! Follow this link to discover more: [LINK]

Are you a medal winner or someone who takes part just to be counted?

2012-olympic-medals-all3As the London 2012 Olympics draws to an end, Team GB have won more Gold Medals than at any other Olympics for over 100 years.

There was great jubilation, and also the occasional disappointment, amongst all the athletes going for gold for Team GB. There were tears of happiness, of finally seeing a dream come true: and there were tears of disappointment, of seeing a dream shattered.

There were many reasons that the athletes had for competing. At the top of the tree, the medal winners:
On Thursday evening, there was Usain Bolt, achieving the double of successfully defending both his 100m and 200m victories from the Beijing 2008 Olympics. He did it, in his own words, to be a ‘legend’.
An hour before that, almost forgotten by the time of Usain Bolt’s triumph, was the great victory of David Rudisha. In the process of winning the Gold Medal, he also broke the 800m World Record and led EVERY other runner in that final to set either a personal best or a national record for the country they represented. It was described by many as the best 800m race ever run. Patrick Rudisha did it to make his father (an athlete in the 1968 Olympics), and Sebastian Coe (who had encouraged him in his endeavour) proud.
Two great athletes, two very different reasons for competing to win.

Then, at the other end of the scale were the athletes, who had no chance of winning a medal.
Wojdan Shaherkani  took part in the women’s Judo event, whilst her compatriot, Sarah Attar, took part in the women’s 800m race. Wojdan Shaherkani  lasted about a minute in her one and only bout in Judo, whilst Sarah Attar came last in her race. Neither stood a chance of winning a medal or competed to win, but just to take part – they were the first women ever allowed by Saudi Arabia to compete in the Olympics. They both endured (and continue to endure) severe criticism from many people within their own country just for taking part.

Who are the greater Olympians, the ‘winners’ or the ‘losers’. Both, for different reasons, all of which are valid. Why do you take part in the Olympics of life? Do you take part to become a legend, for pride, for the right to compete, or for another equally worthy reason?

I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true.
I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have.
I must stand with anybody that stands right, and part with him when he goes wrong.

Abraham Lincoln, 16th U.S. President

Whatever your reason, you are worthy.

Go on, it’s never too late to win.

What does it take to become an overnight success?

We all strive for success and have many disappointments along the way. Sometime the disappointment is so strong that we give up and turn away from our dream.

When we first start out on this journey of becoming a success – whatever success means to you – it is tempting to see others who have already achieved what we desire to, and think that it was easy for them. The reality is that very few people become an overnight success or sensation.

I was reminded of this when I met my friend Vinay Parmar (www.vinayparmar.co.uk). We have known each other for years and both helped each other many times, often reminding each other not to give up, that there is light at the end of the dark times.

Vinay had his story featured in the Guardian newspaper a week ago. It was a big write up and told people of a part of his journey. Today, the Mirror newspaper has featured him after picking up on the Guardian article. He also has other papers, national magazines and national TV chasing him for an interview.

It is tempting to look at him from the outside and see it as a lucky break and wish we could have the same. It is in a way making him an overnight success. What people don’t see (except those that have known him) is that the night lasted many years: that there were many moments of real fear, moments of doubt that could have turned into despair and giving up.

Are you experiencing any of these? If so, remember, success is a journey with many obstacles along the way. Obstacles to:

  • test your commitment and belief,
  • make you a stronger person,
  • teach you the skills you need in order to deal with the success when it arrives.

There is a light at the end of the darkness. Sometimes you may not be able to see very far. If you travel by car on a road at night without streetlights, you can only see what is in the beam of the car’s headlights, but you still head toward your journey’s end. So it is with life. You only need to see what’s immediately in front of you, and trust that you will see the next step when you have moved forward a step.

So, remember to keep heading in the direction of your dreams even if you can’t see far ahead, and success will creep up on you in the quietest of hours, when you least expect it.

Go on then, make it through the night.

How to carry on when there is no end in sight

We have emotional peaks and emotional troughs. It is a natural part of living that we experience these highs and lows. I don’t know about you but I have often found myself to be consumed by the feelings I experience during the lows of life. So much so that nothing else seems to exist , or even matter,  when in these depths of pain and/despair.

It is very easy to lose our grip on reality at these times of crises. We can’t ‘see the wood for the trees’ and lose hope of a resolution to the crisis very quickly.

I am reminded of a passage in the classic children’s book, The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien. The main character, Bilbo Baggins, and his companions are lost in a forest and becoming desperate as there seems to be no end to the trees. One of the companions climbs to the top of a tall tree to see if he can see which way they should travel to escape the forest. On reaching the top of the tree, all he can see all around is an endless sea of trees and relays this to the others at the foot of the tree. They all quickly lose hope of escape. What none of them know is that they are at the bottom of a shallow valley and that the forest ends just beyond the lip of the valley.

I liken our situations to this. At the depths of our pain and sorrows, we are in the depths of an emotional valley, and no matter how high the tree we climb, we cannot see beyond the lip of the valley. All we can do at this point is to tighten our belts and carry on walking. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean there is no end in sight. Keep on walking.

“Over every mountain there is a path, although it may not be seen from the valley.”

James Rogers (1875-1961)

Go on then, keep on walking.