Your success and the role of mentors

simon chaplinI’ve just had the most amazing call with my business mentor, Simon Chaplin (www.SocksUpSimon.com) – but then every call with him is like that at some level.

I don’t know about you, but now that the Olympics and my holidays are over, I’ve been feeling a little bit lost: directionless, unmotivated, wondering if I’m going in the right direction, worried about business cashflow, and a whole load more – all very low energy thoughts and emotions. All that changed after my call with Simon this morning.

It doesn’t matter how good you are at something, and I know I’m very good at helping people have a higher level of Emotional Intelligence, we all need outside input from other people to help us get a sense of perspective and help us clarify our thinking – right now I have mentors/coaches to help me with my business, my diet and nutrition, and my physical health. I’m fortunate that I learned early on to surround myself with great coaches and mentors in different fields. After all, if Usain Bolt, Jessica Ennis, Mo Farah, and a whole host of other Olympians/ Para-olympians have coaches and mentors, don’t we ordinary mortals need them even more? If the best in the field can perform even better with the help of their coaches/mentors, then how much can you improve what you do with the right people helping you? The right people helping you are worth far more than the fee you may exchange with them for their expertise.

I call my team of experts my Power Team, because they help me become more powerful at what I do.

Who are the people in your Power Team? Do you have any at all? If not, how much are you being held back in business and in life because you only learn from your own mistakes? A Power Team of experts around you will save you years of struggle, disappointment and despair. How many years do you have to waste? If you don’t have anyone yet and are thinking ‘I can’t afford to have one’, my question is can you really afford NOT to have one? You don’t need to have a team right off the bat, just start with one as I did, it really is so much better than none.

People often wonder what the difference is between a coach and a mentor. There are official definitions, I prefer this informal one: a coach is someone who has the skills to help you become better at what you do but not necessarily have excelled at that thing themselves; a mentor is someone who has already achieved what you want to achieve and can guide you from personal experience.

So why would someone have a coach if the coach hasn’t already done what they are helping you to do? Let’s use one of the athletes as an example:

Usain Bolt has several coaches, for the physical aspect of sprinting and for the mental aspect as well. They help him with technique and strategy. They haven’t broken the 100m world record themselves, but they can still help him, as they have proven. Usain is at the top of his field, but he could have someone as a mentor who has broken a world record in another athletics discipline. In the case of Yohan Blake, silver medallist in the Olympic 100m final, he could have Usain Bolt as his mentor because Usain has ‘been there and done it’.

I personally believe both a coach and a mentor have a role to play in your success. Who will you start with in your Power Team?

If you would like to explore how I may help you, contact me through the website at http://sanjayshah.tv/contact-us/ .

 

Go on, build a team.

 

PS. My next Emotional Power Live course is on Saturday 29 September in Birmingham. www.sanjayshah.tv/events . The first 10 tickets are available at a 50% discount, so hurry and book before you miss out on those!

How to Control Your Weather

It’s a glorious day! The temperature is 22 centigrade and I’m sitting in my garden writing this. Summer has finally arrived for most of us.

My garden on a glorius day

 

I spent this morning with Vinay Parmar, my friend and co-conspirator in creating a great life. We sat outside a Costa, plotted our next life enhancement strategies and watched the world go by. It is interesting people watching: the usual glum expressions were replaced with cheery smiles and even the occasional ‘hello’.

All because the sun is shining and it’s warm?

How often do we make ourselves to the be the hostage of circumstances we can’t control (like the weather). I remember being like this before I came across the tools I now teach others. My moods would be completely dependent on what was happening in my life in areas I had no control over. And yet I would worry, fret and drive myself crazy trying to change those very things that I had no control over!

Vinay reminded me of when he attended his first seminar with me and picking up a concept that has helped him change his life – the concept of Total Responsibility for all that occurs in your life. Now this doesn’t mean trying to control the things you can’t, but accepting them and then influencing the things you CAN control.

What we tend to do is to forget this and get caught up in doing things that make little or no difference.

How does this tie in to the weather? We let our moods be dictated by what the weather is doing, when actually we have total control over how we react to it. We can choose to be miserable or happy regardless of the weather. And choosing to be happy makes us more productive in all that we do.

Instead of wanting to control the weather outside you, learn to control the eco-system INSIDE of you – and you will never again be troubled by the weather outside. You might even smile and say ‘hello’ to me as you pass me on the pavement on a rainy day!

Go on then, let the sun out!

The Power of a Decision

Today, I was asked the question, ‘does it really work?’ in relation to a strategy I use in my business to attract the right kinds of clients for me.

This led me to think about achieving results.

We usually start out with the best of intentions when we ‘decide’ to do something. We make a decision, commit to it, and then begin to take action toward its accomplishment. This is usually when the fun start – the mind kicks in with its ‘yap yap yap’ dialogue of uncertainty and doubt, and we very quickly begin to doubt our decision.

The problem lies in two things:

1)      We rarely make a clear decision in the first place. The word ‘decide’ from its Latin root means to cut off all other possibilities. This means that we will not accept anything less than the thing we decide to have. In reality, we rarely do this – we are willing to settle for less. Or more likely, we are open to changing our minds and go back on the decision as soon as the going gets tough.

2)      We rarely commit to keep going until we achieve our outcome. We feel great when making a decision, but that feeling does not last. Eventually, when it has worn off, we don’t feel so great and our commitment, if there was any in the first place, start to wane. This is not commitment.

True commitment is doing the thing you said you would do, long after the mood you said it in has left you.

How often do you really commit to something and see it to its end?

To really achieve your big goals you must:

1)      Make a LASTING decision

2)      Commit to yourself and your abilities to accomplish your goal.

“An invincible determination can accomplish almost anything, and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men.”

Dr. Thomas Fuller (1608-1661);

clergyman, writer

 

Go on then, make a decision.

Selfless Contribution

Back home after an amazing two and a half days on the crew team for Joanna Martin’s Presentation Secrets seminars. It was a powerful learning environment, seeing things from the ‘other’ side and I’ve brought back loads of ideas to implement into my own events.
They were long days (7am – 9pm) for the crew with only 3 breaks of 10-20 minutes (much longer for the delegates!).
They were physically demanding days, with most of us shattered by the end of each day.
We had to provide for our own meals, accommodation and transport, and we didn’t get paid anything.
We were taught how to work as a team and approach the whole event from a place of selfless contribution.

And I would do it again any time I get the chance. Why?
Because I learned so much from their professionalism and the way they looked after us and taught us what we needed to do to make it a great experience for each delegate.
I haven’t crewed for anyone for many years and it reminded me of my early days when I crewed for lots of great trainers at every opportunity I got (and probably spent a fortune in doing so!)

What I got back far exceeded any time and money investment I made and I look forward to doing it again soon, to become even better at delivering powerful and transformational events of my own.
I learned that the whole organisation has a culture of selfless contribution – and that is why they are so successful at what they do. Beyond the business buiding, they really do care for their delegates.

To any of you, who speak (or need to speak) to groups as part of your career, I really cannot recommend this event highly enough. This is the last time these events will be delivered, before Joanna Martin moves on to starting a family and building the next big work project in her life.
The first three of the four scheduled events are already sold out and the fourth is more than 3/4 full now. An extra and final date has been scheduled for Friday, June 8th. Do what you have to do to get to one of them! With a highly discounted rate and a money back guarantee, what do you have to lose?

Here’s the link for more info: http://bit.ly/AtBJPA.

I hope to see you there.

Go on then, give to yourself.

 

How to carry on when there is no end in sight

We have emotional peaks and emotional troughs. It is a natural part of living that we experience these highs and lows. I don’t know about you but I have often found myself to be consumed by the feelings I experience during the lows of life. So much so that nothing else seems to exist , or even matter,  when in these depths of pain and/despair.

It is very easy to lose our grip on reality at these times of crises. We can’t ‘see the wood for the trees’ and lose hope of a resolution to the crisis very quickly.

I am reminded of a passage in the classic children’s book, The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien. The main character, Bilbo Baggins, and his companions are lost in a forest and becoming desperate as there seems to be no end to the trees. One of the companions climbs to the top of a tall tree to see if he can see which way they should travel to escape the forest. On reaching the top of the tree, all he can see all around is an endless sea of trees and relays this to the others at the foot of the tree. They all quickly lose hope of escape. What none of them know is that they are at the bottom of a shallow valley and that the forest ends just beyond the lip of the valley.

I liken our situations to this. At the depths of our pain and sorrows, we are in the depths of an emotional valley, and no matter how high the tree we climb, we cannot see beyond the lip of the valley. All we can do at this point is to tighten our belts and carry on walking. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean there is no end in sight. Keep on walking.

“Over every mountain there is a path, although it may not be seen from the valley.”

James Rogers (1875-1961)

Go on then, keep on walking.