The Power of a Decision

Today, I was asked the question, ‘does it really work?’ in relation to a strategy I use in my business to attract the right kinds of clients for me.

This led me to think about achieving results.

We usually start out with the best of intentions when we ‘decide’ to do something. We make a decision, commit to it, and then begin to take action toward its accomplishment. This is usually when the fun start – the mind kicks in with its ‘yap yap yap’ dialogue of uncertainty and doubt, and we very quickly begin to doubt our decision.

The problem lies in two things:

1)      We rarely make a clear decision in the first place. The word ‘decide’ from its Latin root means to cut off all other possibilities. This means that we will not accept anything less than the thing we decide to have. In reality, we rarely do this – we are willing to settle for less. Or more likely, we are open to changing our minds and go back on the decision as soon as the going gets tough.

2)      We rarely commit to keep going until we achieve our outcome. We feel great when making a decision, but that feeling does not last. Eventually, when it has worn off, we don’t feel so great and our commitment, if there was any in the first place, start to wane. This is not commitment.

True commitment is doing the thing you said you would do, long after the mood you said it in has left you.

How often do you really commit to something and see it to its end?

To really achieve your big goals you must:

1)      Make a LASTING decision

2)      Commit to yourself and your abilities to accomplish your goal.

“An invincible determination can accomplish almost anything, and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men.”

Dr. Thomas Fuller (1608-1661);

clergyman, writer

 

Go on then, make a decision.

Selfless Contribution

Back home after an amazing two and a half days on the crew team for Joanna Martin’s Presentation Secrets seminars. It was a powerful learning environment, seeing things from the ‘other’ side and I’ve brought back loads of ideas to implement into my own events.
They were long days (7am – 9pm) for the crew with only 3 breaks of 10-20 minutes (much longer for the delegates!).
They were physically demanding days, with most of us shattered by the end of each day.
We had to provide for our own meals, accommodation and transport, and we didn’t get paid anything.
We were taught how to work as a team and approach the whole event from a place of selfless contribution.

And I would do it again any time I get the chance. Why?
Because I learned so much from their professionalism and the way they looked after us and taught us what we needed to do to make it a great experience for each delegate.
I haven’t crewed for anyone for many years and it reminded me of my early days when I crewed for lots of great trainers at every opportunity I got (and probably spent a fortune in doing so!)

What I got back far exceeded any time and money investment I made and I look forward to doing it again soon, to become even better at delivering powerful and transformational events of my own.
I learned that the whole organisation has a culture of selfless contribution – and that is why they are so successful at what they do. Beyond the business buiding, they really do care for their delegates.

To any of you, who speak (or need to speak) to groups as part of your career, I really cannot recommend this event highly enough. This is the last time these events will be delivered, before Joanna Martin moves on to starting a family and building the next big work project in her life.
The first three of the four scheduled events are already sold out and the fourth is more than 3/4 full now. An extra and final date has been scheduled for Friday, June 8th. Do what you have to do to get to one of them! With a highly discounted rate and a money back guarantee, what do you have to lose?

Here’s the link for more info: http://bit.ly/AtBJPA.

I hope to see you there.

Go on then, give to yourself.

 

Do you catastrophise?

These last few days have been ‘odd’ for me.
I realised that I was grieving, but couldn’t think of why I was doing that. There had been no deaths in my circle of friends and family and yet, there was a sense of loss in me.

It took a while for me to realise what it was all about.
Before I could do that, I had to just let it be. Our conditioned reaction is to get into ‘doing’ something, actually anything, to avoid feeling bad. Sometimes, the opposite is true and we just need to let things be.

Allowing to let it be and getting on with my day meant that I wasn’t fighting the feeling any more. Of course, it wasn’t pleasant, but I could just observe it. After a while I started to get a sense of what it was about.

I was grieving for a future loss. The thing I was grieving for hadn’t even happened yet – and perhaps never will. Yet there was still a sense of loss being created because of the thoughts in my head that I was coming to the end of a (working) relationship.

This got me to wondering how many other times I have suffered over something that has not happened, but I think it may happen – and so create the feelings. In effect I was suffering because of a picture of loss that I had in my mind. Crazily, it was a picture I had myself created, and could also change!

We are all creators of our feelings, and we can create the good feelings just as easily as the ‘bad’ feelings by the picture we hold in mind. We have forgotten this basic truth and so end up creating suffering when we could be creating pleasing feelings.

Where in your life do you do this? Where are you suffering BEFORE something has happened, even when there is a chance that it may NEVER happen! And even if the worst were to happen, the depth of your suffering is entirely within your control. Perhaps, instead of being taught to catastrophise everything, we should be looking at the positive in everything, if only to reduce and, perhaps, even eliminate suffering. Then again, in today’s society, someone may accuse you of holding onto false hope! On the whole, people are happy with seeing you suffer rather than be happy – it makes for better news.

Go on then, if you’re going to catastrophise, at least enjoy it.

 

What does it take to become an overnight success?

We all strive for success and have many disappointments along the way. Sometime the disappointment is so strong that we give up and turn away from our dream.

When we first start out on this journey of becoming a success – whatever success means to you – it is tempting to see others who have already achieved what we desire to, and think that it was easy for them. The reality is that very few people become an overnight success or sensation.

I was reminded of this when I met my friend Vinay Parmar (www.vinayparmar.co.uk). We have known each other for years and both helped each other many times, often reminding each other not to give up, that there is light at the end of the dark times.

Vinay had his story featured in the Guardian newspaper a week ago. It was a big write up and told people of a part of his journey. Today, the Mirror newspaper has featured him after picking up on the Guardian article. He also has other papers, national magazines and national TV chasing him for an interview.

It is tempting to look at him from the outside and see it as a lucky break and wish we could have the same. It is in a way making him an overnight success. What people don’t see (except those that have known him) is that the night lasted many years: that there were many moments of real fear, moments of doubt that could have turned into despair and giving up.

Are you experiencing any of these? If so, remember, success is a journey with many obstacles along the way. Obstacles to:

  • test your commitment and belief,
  • make you a stronger person,
  • teach you the skills you need in order to deal with the success when it arrives.

There is a light at the end of the darkness. Sometimes you may not be able to see very far. If you travel by car on a road at night without streetlights, you can only see what is in the beam of the car’s headlights, but you still head toward your journey’s end. So it is with life. You only need to see what’s immediately in front of you, and trust that you will see the next step when you have moved forward a step.

So, remember to keep heading in the direction of your dreams even if you can’t see far ahead, and success will creep up on you in the quietest of hours, when you least expect it.

Go on then, make it through the night.

How to enjoy getting soaked

 

 

It’s raining this morning, raining hard. The traffic is slow and there are lots of ‘incidents’ along the roads. It has taken me 45 minutes to travel just 7 miles, a journey which usually takes 15 minutes.

I arrived and parked and on the way into the hotel, I notice a lot of grumpy faces on the pavement – people hurrying to get to where they they want and trying to avoid getting soaked.

And now the person I am meeting is also late, stuck in traffic!

I remember a time when this would have really wound me up, but today it is an opportunity to write this blog, which is late!

Life happens around us all the time and most of it is out of our control – though we sometimes try damn hard to control the uncontrollable! And get frustrated and moody when we can’t.

What are you trying to control today that is really outside of your control? How do you feel as you do that?

We are so conditioned into wanting to control everything, we forget there are things we just cannot control. Make a list of the things that really are in your control, and another of the things which are out of your control. Then just focus on the things you can control and get on with your day. You just might enjoy it – despite getting soaked.

 

“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. ”     author unknown

 

Go on then, get wet.