When the mind questions but the heart knows – overcoming Mind Sabotage

It is often said the children have the highest level of natural emotional intelligence.

Parents and those who’ve spent time with children will have noticed how they always act instinctively and let their heart rather than their learning, guide their actions.

What is Mind Sabotage?
Mind Sabotage is when we allow our mind to overtake what our heart intrinsically knows is right.

To put it simply, it’s when we get so wrapped up in the ‘doing’ we actually stop listening to ourselves.

How do we make decisions?
In the past I’ve asked a number of people how they make a decision and a common answer is, “Well, I look at the situation, weigh up all and facts and figures and then base my decision on these and my own experiences.”

OK, that sounds pretty sensible but I think it ignores the most important decision making tool that we have; our ‘gut feeling’.

Imagine if someone asked you the question, ‘How do you make a decision?’ and your answer was, ‘I just know what the right thing to do is!’

Do you think that would feel more powerful?

Overcoming paralysing Mind Sabotage
The key way to overcome this Mind Sabotage is to simply take time to listen to your heart and refuse to let your logic mask what you know is right.

Learn to believe in the intrinsic knowledge of your heart therefore and allow it to give you the best response.

It takes a little time
Be aware that your ‘heart response’ may not be as immediate as your ‘mind response’ but if you can pause and take a moment to recognise how you really feel about something (or the potential of something happening) then your internal answer is likely to be revealing.

OK – why is this important?
Well the simple answer is, if we observe our feelings and making conscious choices we have more control, we take full responsibility for our actions and we then feel so much better about the outcome.

Being open and honest with yourself also enables you to be more open and honest with other people.

Here’s the good news
The good news is anyone can do this. It’s actually quite a simple thing to do.

The challenge is, when you have to make a decision or you’re faced with a dilemma, can allow yourself to take a few moments to really listen to your heart? (This is something that can be learned with the right tools).

Take time to pause before you act and you may be surprised at just how much more sure you feel as a result.

How I can help you
I help individuals and organisations APPLY Emotional Intelligence – most teaching was focusing on understanding Emotions and that is NOT the same as being able to APPLY Emotional Intelligence.  How do you understand something that has no logic to it? The mind can work with logic and reason but it is completely paralysed when faced with something irrational – the emotions however CAN deal with irrational and illogical information.  Learning to apply a combination of Mind Intelligence (IQ) with Emotional Intelligence (EQ) can make huge, exciting and positive differences in your life and in your business, every single day.

Are you ready to learn from a place of knowing or are you happy continuing to doubt?

If you are ready to know what the right thing to do is simply give me a call on 08451 153 0037 or ping me an email.

Loser to Winner

We have just had the Monaco Grand Prix, where Lewis Hamilton was in the lead on a track which is almost impossible to overtake on for most of the course.  A bad judgment call by his team to bring him for a pit stop to change his tyres resulted in him being passed by and ending up in 3rd place, having led for most of the race. You could have forgiven him for being angry at losing the race. When asked about it he replied:

“It’s not how you lose, it’s how you come back”

Champions aren’t winners every time. Champions are champions because of how they come back from every setback, every loss. The term ‘overnight sensation’ is used to describe someone’s ‘rapid’ rise to success – what it fails to mention is that the night may have lasted many years. And the night ended because they kept coming back from every setback, every loss.

Losers become winners by honing their ability to keep coming back, by never giving up on themselves. You are a winner, unless you decide to settle for a loss.

Be a winner, become a champion.

Who loves you, baby?

February 13, and the world’s retail marketing machines are well into into the annual frenzy of selling Valentine’s Day. Millions of £$€ and just about any other currency will be spent. Hearts will be given, eaten (in the form of sweets!) and, of course, also broken.

What started as a fertility festival in Roman times has become a consumer spending spree for people, all desiring to show their love for that ‘special’ one in their life. There is nothing wrong in having love in your life. There is nothing wrong with demonstrating your love, in whatever way you choose to. It all depends on your motivation for wanting to do either.

In my seminars on Emotional Intelligence, I share with people how to find true love. Many have found it soon after, some even found their true loved one on the seminar! (see the video testimonial where my friend Elinor did just that – you can see it in her face!)

What all of them learned is that low level feelings/emotions – such as loneliness, feeling incomplete without a special love, jealousy, desire, longing, fear of being hurt, and a whole load more – only succeed in keeping it away from you. When you make a decision to change your feelings to higher ones of courage, love and peace with where you are now, people actually feel more attracted to be with you. Paradoxically, being okay and in love with where you are attracts that special someone into your life – as Rachel discovered recently:







What you sow, you reap.

Give love with desperate thoughts of it being returned, and all you will do is put blocks in the way to it being returned to you.
Give love with an open heart with no thoughts of it being returned, and it will come to you in abundance.

My message is simple: treat your Valentine with no thoughts of love being returned to you. You just might enjoy Valentine’s Day more than you’ve ever done!

If you want to learn what Rachel and Elinor did on my course, then the next one is in May. Come and find your true love.

Go on, have the courage to love and be loved


Dying to Live

I heard today a dear friend was taken to a hospice.

His name is Maurice, and he has taught me much in a short time about Love. So much, he will, probably, never know the extent.

He has reminded me:

  • To live fully
  • To love fully
  • To make the most of my time here
  • To not take anything for granted because it can change in an instant
  • To forgive everyone who I ever thought has hurt me, and to do it now. Without forgiveness, love is just an empty word
  • To be true to myself and make a stand for what I believe in
  • To change what I can and accept all that I can’t

These are just some of the things that come to mind now.

He has reminded me that there are people dying to live – just one more day, one more hour, one more minute, one more moment. Think of all the people you know who are ill. If you don’t know any personally, then think of the people in the news, maybe those who have contracted Ebola, the disease of the moment in the media. Are they hoping to live just one more day?

And you? Are you dying to live? Or are you just getting by each day with a belief that you have a long time to go? Can you really know that to be true? What if this is your last day? What will you think with your dying breath?

I know what I thought as I lay in the operating theatre after my heart attack. I was thinking, “I’m too young to die. Please, God, give me one more day. I’ll do anything You want me to…” I was dying to live. And it’s not a nice feeling, to realise that you haven’t lived fully.

Now the good news.  If you are reading this, it’s not too late.

This is a moment of choice. To live life fully, or to die slowly and regret it when it’s too late.

It’s your choice.

Perhaps, like me, you’ll be lucky and get a second chance.

Then again, maybe not. Its 50:50. Do you like to bet on those odds? I don’t. I like them stacked in my favour.

I hope you live before you’re dying to live.

In a week’s time, I get to help those who decided to live now at the Emotional Mastery Retreat.

I love to see the transformations that occur as people experience their own greatness and power: sometimes for the first time in years.

The bad news; this program is fully booked now.

The good news: I’ve decided, for the next Emotional Mastery Retreat in May 2015 (yes its along time away for me to wait to have so much fun again helping people transform!), I am going to giving away a scholarship to one lucky person. Watch out for details of this in the coming weeks.

Until then, stop waiting. Start living.

Be More, Do Less, Achieve More


The Invitation


  • What is it?
  • What does it involve?
  • What will you teach?
  • Why are you doing this for free?
  • Why should I attend?

Just some of the questions that have been asked of me after the recent announcement of an event I am presenting with Deepak Lodhia on 30th October.

So here goes:
A Sanskrit word where
‘sat’ means Truth and
‘sang’ is short for sangha, or company/gathering/group.

So a literal translation could be ‘the company of Truth’

What does it involve?
Simply a meeting of people where only Truth is spoken.
There is no such thing as THE truth, only a truth of which there can be many.

This is an opportunity to explore, and maybe discover, the truth of who you really are as opposed to who you think you are!

It is our experience that at some time in life we will finally return to the oldest, and in some spiritual traditions, only, question worth asking – ‘Who am I?

My own experience is we will have no choice but to ask this question, even if it is the last question on our deathbed. I don’t say that lightly. I say it from having worked with many people who have either been close to death or have died. They all asked this one question.

I waited till my heart attack before I really asked it.

We would like to give you the opportunity to discover the answer to this long before you reach the end of your life. Deepak and I are fortunate – we each lived to ask this question after a heart attack. Not everybody is as fortunate as us.

Swiftly following on the heels of this question is ‘What is my life about?’ i.e. why am I here anyway?!

Again, we have discovered our answers. Do you know your answer?

What will you teach?
We are not going to ‘teach’ anything.

You already know the answer, no teaching is required.

Our role is to help you remember the answer, your answer. Not ours; yours.

Why are you doing this for free?
We see this as our opportunity to give back to many of you have given us so much over the last few years.

The room is paid for. We won’t be selling or promoting anything.

We decided this is going ahead, even if it is just the two of us (we do that regularly anyway – we just pay a restaurant for the seats and they serve us food and drink}.

You are invited to join us or not. Whatever is right for you.

Why should I attend?
You should attend because

  • You are tired of living someone else’s Truth and yearn to discover your own
  • You are tired of searching for the missing piece in your life
  • You are ready to be all you can be
  • You are ready to live a little more each day rather than die a little more each day
  • You want to join us and laugh at ourselves

A piece of advice: leave seriousness at home. Be ready to play and laugh.

If any of the above has intrigued you in any way, come and join us.  Register and book your place here – JOIN SANJAY AND DEEPAK